<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>i've seen this film before (and i didn't like the ending) by TheGoatWithAPen</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28933482">i've seen this film before (and i didn't like the ending)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGoatWithAPen/pseuds/TheGoatWithAPen'>TheGoatWithAPen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Legacies (TV 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Look I swear that the second chapter is happier, Set 3 years after Penelope left, Yes this is another fic I've written based on Taylor Swift songs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 14:14:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,037</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28933482</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGoatWithAPen/pseuds/TheGoatWithAPen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>josie shook her head.</em>
</p><p>  <em>“why are you here penelope,” she asked again, “and I don’t mean at the school, i mean why are you here, watching me in this forest?”</em></p><p>  <em>penelope wanted josie to know everything, absolutely everything, but she knew she couldn’t give josie that. so, she would have to settle for a little shred of truth.</em></p><p>  <em>“i wanted to see you.”</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>penelope park left mystic falls three years ago. what happens now that she's returned?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Penelope Park/Josie Saltzman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>159</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. (you were my town) now i'm in exile</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Guess who's back with some more angsty Posie content, because Legacies Season 3 is definitely not going to give us any Posie content? That's right, it's me!<br/>This first chapter was inspired by the song exile by Taylor Swift, which is where I got the chapter title, and the whole fic title. When I listened to it, I thought there were a lot of lines that made me think of Posie, and so, here we are! This first chapter is quite angsty, and the style is a bit different to how I usually write, but I hope you enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>penelope park never meant to come back to mystic falls.</p><p>she had dreamt about it, about coming home, and seeing all her friends, and getting to walk down the halls of the salvatore school again.</p><p>and of course, she’d dreamt about coming home to one person in particular.</p><p>she still talked to mg, and hope, for some strange reason, but it never felt the same. </p><p>nothing felt the same. </p><p>she’d known for a while that her dreams of returning and making everything right were probably foolish, and that those she loved had moved on.</p><p>and yet here she stood, three years after the last time she had set foot here, and really, it wasn’t all that different.</p><p>the buildings were the same, and so were the trees, and the school.</p><p>if she went inside, alaric would still be headmaster, unfortunately, and the rooms would still be split up into their factions.</p><p>but the faces were different. </p><p>no one from her coven remained.</p><p>alyssa chang, a girl who may have been a friend, if they’d both let their guards down, had vanished off the face of the earth.</p><p>kaleb and mg were on a road trip around europe, trying to finally live for the first time in their immortal lives.</p><p>landon and rafael were long gone, and penelope couldn’t really bring herself to care where either brother was now.</p><p>hope was in new orleans, with her family, carrying the mikaelson legacy and still managing to be a hero.</p><p>lizzie was off to university, in some faraway place, where she could be a normal popular girl.</p><p>only one familiar face remained.</p><p>josie.</p><p>she’d barely changed, and if you hadn’t known her well, you would say that she hadn’t aged a day. that she was still that quiet teenager who had never learned how to speak loud enough to be heard.</p><p>but penelope had known her very well, and she saw the change.</p><p>the way in which josie held herself with just a touch more self-confidence, like she felt certain in the words she spoke. the dark look in her eyes, like she’d seen true power, and finally understood why everyone craved it but could never hold it. </p><p>it was still josie, just slightly different. slightly stronger. not perfect, but penelope had never expected that. it would be hypocritical if she did.</p><p>josie was standing at the edge of the old mill, in the arms of an unfamiliar man.</p><p>through hope, penelope knew his name.</p><p>ethan machado, a werewolf who had transferred with his sister maya.</p><p>penelope wished that she didn’t know his name. </p><p>because if his name was unknown, then it meant that he was nothing to josie.</p><p>but she knew it. because hope had told her that josie was seeing someone new.</p><p>hope seemed to think that penelope needed updates on that. </p><p>she really fucking didn’t.</p><p>it just made the wound in her heart ache even more.</p><p>penelope watched as josie laughed at something that ethan had said. a joke that was probably not funny at all.</p><p>penelope used to make josie laugh. she’d do it all the time, even when josie felt like she just wanted to fade away into the silence of the world. </p><p>penelope used to make josie smile.</p><p>she shouldn’t be staring. </p><p>she really shouldn’t.</p><p>she shouldn’t even be here, standing in the trees, watching a group of people laughing and joking at the old mill, but she was.</p><p>because she’d needed to see josie.</p><p>because it had been so long.</p><p>penelope almost regretted her decision to look now.</p><p>because seeing josie like that, laughing at a joke that penelope so dearly wished to know, a changed woman, made penelope want to know everything.</p><p>she wanted to walk over and ask josie every question. she wanted to learn about josie’s every thought and feeling over the past three years. </p><p>the years that penelope had lost with her, because she hadn’t been able to take it. </p><p>hadn’t been able to take josie’s self-sabotaging, the way in which she always assumed that she was the weakest and the most worthless in a room.</p><p>penelope had tried to show josie a brighter picture, she had tried so hard, that it had almost broken her down.</p><p>but then she’d realised that she couldn’t be the one to help josie.</p><p>not in that way.</p><p>so, she’d left.</p><p>penelope was just about to walk away, because well, she’d seen what she’d wanted to, but then josie turned, and her eyes met penelope’s.</p><p>penelope was only standing in the dark of the trees, however, in the evening light, it should have been enough to stop anyone seeing her, unless they knew she was there.</p><p>josie always seemed to be surprised whenever penelope appeared, claiming that she had come out of smoke. but she’d also always known where to look to find penelope’s eyes. </p><p>josie held her gaze for a moment, and penelope knew then that she couldn’t leave. </p><p>ethan leant in to kiss josie, and penelope had to look away. she couldn’t see that, couldn’t see someone else doing that.</p><p>a small part of her felt like josie was still hers to love and to kiss.</p><p>even if penelope knew that that part of her was wrong and twisted and cruel for thinking that.</p><p>she only looked back when she heard ethan walking away. josie turned to watch him leave, and penelope moved just a little closer, her eyes on josie the whole time.</p><p>josie knew that she was there, now the question was if she would acknowledge it, or if she would walk away, letting penelope be the one left alone this time.</p><p>they stood there silently, and then, when everyone else had disappeared from view, josie spoke.</p><p>“i know you’re watching me. i know it’s you.”</p><p>penelope didn’t move, she couldn’t. after all this time, hearing josie’s voice paralyzed her, as her mind played back a million memories.</p><p>josie didn’t turn, but she sighed.</p><p>“penelope, please.” she sounded so tired, like the effort of saying penelope’s name hurt her. and so penelope stepped into the light.</p><p>“hello jojo. it’s been a while.”</p><p>josie finally turned, and penelope found herself caught in the gravity of her eyes. soft and brown, and full of so much pain.</p><p>penelope wondered how much of that pain was put there by her.</p><p>“what are you doing here?” josie folded her arms, and stared at penelope, her face guarded. penelope hadn’t expected anything different, although she had hoped for some warmth.</p><p>“i was in the neighbourhood, so i thought i’d drop by. see how the old school was doing.” </p><p>“and how is it doing?” josie asked the question like she was testing penelope. </p><p>penelope just shrugged.</p><p>“it’s quieter. i’m assuming that once you kicked malivore’s ass, all the monsters and bother pissed off?”</p><p>josie didn’t answer, so penelope just smiled.</p><p>“i almost miss this stupid place.” that was a lie. it wasn’t the school she missed. it was the girl in front of her, and all of their memories that were littered around the halls of the school.</p><p>josie shook her head.</p><p>“why are you here penelope,” she asked again, “and I don’t mean at the school, i mean why are you here, watching me in this forest?”</p><p>penelope wanted josie to know everything, absolutely everything, but she knew she couldn’t give josie that. so, she would have to settle for a little shred of truth.</p><p>“i wanted to see you.”</p><p>josie stared at her, and penelope could almost feel the whirlpool of emotions that must be swimming through her in this moment.</p><p>she was silent for a moment, and penelope watched as her eyes finally took in the girl in front of her, fully. penelope hadn’t changed much, even her hair was the same length as it was before.</p><p>penelope said that she just liked the way it looked on her, but really, she just liked the reminder of josie. even if it was a reminder of how burning her rage could truly be.</p><p>“how’s your family?” penelope didn’t know why she was asking. she knew the answer already. but maybe she just wanted to talk with josie calmly, before they fell into another argument.</p><p>“why do you care?” </p><p>“i’m just trying to make conversation,” penelope answered honestly.</p><p>josie scoffed and shook her head, but didn’t say anything. penelope wondered what was going on in her mind. was any part of her happy to see penelope? </p><p>“i didn’t like the way you were looking at my boyfriend,” josie said suddenly. penelope nearly laughed.</p><p>“don’t worry jojo, i have no intentions of stealing him.”</p><p>“don’t call me that,” josie snapped, and penelope felt a stab of pain. </p><p>“and that’s not what i meant.”</p><p>penelope rose an eyebrow.</p><p>“then what did you mean? how was i looking at dear ethan?”</p><p>“like he was just your understudy. like you were three seconds away from getting your knuckles bloody for me.”</p><p>penelope didn’t have a defence for that. she couldn’t lie about the burning in her stomach when she’d seen him. </p><p>“was the joke really that funny josie? because i know your fake smiles, and that was one of them.”</p><p>“that is none of your concern.” every word from josie’s mouth felt like a slice from a knife.</p><p>so, if they were to fight with their words, penelope would have to retaliate, lest she be left bloodied and broken by the love of her life.</p><p>“you know josie, i’m not your problem anymore. so, why are you so offended by my very presence?” she stepped towards josie, resisting a triumphant smile when josie’s eyes betrayed an emotion.</p><p>“i’m offended because you’re being a bitch. just like you always are.”</p><p>“as i recall, i could be quite nice. but you did always have a lethally selective memory when it came to me.” her feet brought her so that she was barely a metre away from josie. it felt like every cell in her body was aching to close to distance and hold josie so tight that her touch would be forever imprinted on her body, but she couldn’t.</p><p>so, she held herself back.</p><p>josie glared at her.</p><p>penelope just smiled, but it was an empty one, celebrating a hollow victory.</p><p>“how have things been?” she half expected josie to completely ignore the question, but josie forced her mouth into a crude smile.</p><p>“you mean after you left? yeah, they’ve been great. i got manipulated by a mud man, i got infected with dark magic, which led to me killing alyssa and my sister, and then i nearly killed hope, and half the school left because they were scared of me, and the half that’s still here looks at me like i’m going to break any second.” </p><p>penelope knew all of that, of course she did. even though it hurt her, she’d wanted to know how josie was doing. and every time she found something out, she nearly raced back to her side, so that she could be there.</p><p>but then she remembered that josie wouldn’t want her there. seeing penelope would probably just make everything worse. </p><p>so, she’d stayed away.</p><p>josie took a step towards penelope.</p><p>“or maybe you meant the merge? you know, because you just dropped that on me and left me to deal with it alone? maybe you want to know how i keep having nightmares about it, maybe you want to know how we tried to stop it, but no, it’s still there, because we didn’t merge properly, and one of us still needs to fucking die. maybe you want to hear about how my sister left, to go live the life she has left, and i got stuck here, because even after all these years, i’m still the selfless one, no matter what.” she scoffed.</p><p>“are you disappointed, penelope? are you disappointed that even after everything, i’m still putting myself second, that i’m still fucking useless?”</p><p>“i could never be disappointed in you josie,” penelope said softly. </p><p>“oh really? then what was it that you were feeling when i feel down those stairs? what was it that you were feeling when you took five whole minutes to pack us up and leave me, alone, with a curse that i didn’t fucking ask for?”</p><p>penelope shook her head.</p><p>“i wasn’t disappointed in you, josie. and you know i didn’t leave easily. you know i tried to stay.”</p><p>josie turned and stalked away. penelope thought that she might keep walking until the school, that she might finally walk out of penelope’s life forever, but then she turned around.</p><p>“you left me, penelope! you fucking left me, all alone standing in the hall. ever since then, it’s fucking plagued me, because you were never supposed to do that. you were supposed to always be there, you weren’t supposed to leave me like everyone else!”</p><p>penelope couldn’t say anything. she knew that this had probably been building up for a while, so she let josie just yell at her. after all, it was mostly true.</p><p>“but you left. you decided that i wasn’t worth fighting for anymore. do you have any idea how much that hurt? you told me that i was stuck with you, you told me that the world needed the selfless and the selfish to keep spinning. and then you left. just like everyone else.”</p><p>penelope sighed.</p><p>“josie, you can’t keep pretending that i left because i wanted to hurt you.”</p><p>“then why?”</p><p>“josie you know why!” penelope didn’t mean to shout, but maybe her own emotions were starting to rear their heads. maybe she had things left unsaid that now were finally revealing themselves.</p><p>“i told you to read that letter so many times josie. i gave you second, third, and hundredth chances, and you couldn’t give me one reason to stay. i tried to tell you so many times that you didn’t have to come in second, i tried to tell you that everything i did was for you, and you didn’t even hear me out.”</p><p>“how was i supposed to know that the stupid letter was a goodbye? you didn’t give me any other signs.”</p><p>penelope turned away. looking at josie right now just hurt a little bit too much.</p><p>“i gave so many signs josie. if you had read the letter, i might have stayed. but you didn’t, which meant that you didn’t care enough, and it meant that i had no reason to stay.”<br/>
josie scoffed.</p><p>“so, you left because you felt rejected? i think you’re definitely right, you are the selfish one.”</p><p>penelope turned around, wanting to scream, wanting to tell josie about everything she had done, everything she had sacrificed. but she couldn’t. she knew she couldn’t.</p><p>“josie are you even listening? everything i did was for you. all i wanted was for you to be happy. i left because i thought it would be the best move for both of us.”</p><p>“you could have asked me! you could have asked me if i wanted you to stay, and i would’ve told you.”</p><p>“really?” penelope stepped closer to josie. “would you really have told me to stay? or would you have once again refused to go after what you wanted, because you didn’t think you deserved it?”</p><p>“stop pretending like you know how i think and feel! you don’t know what i would’ve done.”</p><p>penelope sighed. she hadn’t meant for this to spiral into an argument about everything, but she should have expected it. they had too much unsaid between them for any conversation to be simple.</p><p>“but i know that you let lizzie have dibs on the rafael. i know that you didn’t tell her about wanting to run for the council. i know that you wouldn’t have sung at the talent show if not for the slugs. i know that you didn’t tell anyone that you wanted to win miss mystic falls. i know that you didn’t want to fall but you did it anyway. i know that you wanted me to stay, i know that you wanted to read the letter, but you—” penelope choked on her words, feeling tears springing into her eyes.</p><p>josie was silent. she just watched penelope, looking like she had never thought of any of this.</p><p>penelope shook her head.</p><p>“i never learned to read your mind josie, but i could always read your heart. i held it once, and i have never forgotten the way that it beat.”</p><p>they both stared at each other for a moment, hearts aching for each other.</p><p>“i never turned things around because i didn’t know i would lose you,” josie admitted quietly.</p><p>“and like i said, if you had read the letter, you wouldn’t have lost me. and if you had read the letter, it would have already meant that you were turning things around. that’s the whole point. but you never did.”</p><p>penelope tried not to imagine a world in which she had stayed. it hurt too much to imagine a world where maybe, she could have helped. it hurt to think that she could’ve helped if she’d stayed.</p><p>and it hurt even more to think that she would’ve hurt josie, even if she had stayed.</p><p>penelope sighed and turned to josie.</p><p>“look. i think we’ve both seen this film before. we argue, and neither one of us is going to change our opinion. i stand by everything that i’ve done. maybe i didn’t do things in the best way, but all i ever wanted was the best for you. i left for you.”</p><p>“you left because you’re a coward.”</p><p>penelope hadn’t expected that.</p><p>“what?” she was too startled to say anything else.</p><p>josie stepped forwards.</p><p>“you didn’t want to deal with the merge, and you didn’t want to deal with me. you weren’t willing to be there for me, and so you left, because you were too scared to stay.”<br/>
out of all the things that josie could have thrown at her, that was one thing that penelope wasn’t expecting. she felt that tightness in her chest that came specifically from holding back a scream.</p><p>because there was so much she wanted to say. she wanted to tell josie about her sleepless nights, wondering if she could maybe sneak back home, just to make sure that josie was still alive. she wanted to tell her about the times she’d been so sure she was about to die, and how she was ready for it, because it was for josie, and there was nothing else in her life, really.</p><p>but she couldn’t. because josie didn’t deserve the burden of knowing all that. better she hate penelope, better she wish that penelope had never arrived in her life, than love penelope and wish that things could go back.</p><p>penelope had enough experience with the latter, and she wouldn’t wish that hurt on anyone, but especially not josie.</p><p>“maybe i am a coward. and i am sorry for leaving.” she tried her best to convey her sincerity, the thousands of what ifs that had swum through her mind for years through her stare. </p><p>“i promise, i never meant to hurt you.”</p><p>josie sighed, hands dangling helplessly by her side.</p><p>“but you did.”</p><p>a silence fell upon them again. penelope couldn’t argue. it wasn’t her job to tell josie how she should feel about everything that she’d done. </p><p>so, instead, she asked a question that had been scratching at the back of her mind for a while.</p><p>“do you remember what i told you when i left?”</p><p>“of course, i do. i remember everything you said to me that night.”</p><p>penelope had to look away, lest the hurt and anger in josie’s eyes hurt her too much.</p><p>perhaps she was a coward, despite everything. not for leaving, but because she couldn’t meet josie’s eyes and deal with all the pain she had caused her. </p><p>because she had hurt josie. had hurt her so badly. and that was why penelope had to leave. </p><p>“do you understand yet?”</p><p>penelope remembered being barely seventeen, standing in front of a girl who she loved so much that it ached, and remembered telling her that one day, she’d understand why penelope did everything she did.</p><p>one day josie would understand that she was worth all the stars in the sky.</p><p>one day she’d understand that she deserved to stand in the light, to shine and smile, knowing that she was loved.</p><p>one day she’d understand that penelope had decided that josie’s life was worth more than anything else, and she’d understand that by leaving, penelope was putting josie’s happiness above her own.</p><p>the selfish, finally making the selfless move, because in the long run, josie’s life would be better if penelope wasn’t there.</p><p>even if penelope’s life was always better when josie was there.</p><p>but it was clear that today was not that day, because josie was just glaring at her.</p><p>“i don’t think i do understand. at least, i don’t understand what you wanted me to.”</p><p>penelope sighed, but didn’t say anything more.</p><p>“i loved you, you know?”</p><p>penelope’s head shot up at that. josie’s gaze had shifted from stone cold hate to something softer and vulnerable.</p><p>“i know i never said it, not even when you left, but i loved you so much. sometimes i even…” josie trailed off, shaking her head. “but the point is that i loved you.”</p><p>“how do you know?” penelope asked simply.</p><p>“what?” josie was turning back to the anger.</p><p>“how do you know that you loved me?”</p><p>“i know because you were all i thought about. i know because even after we broke up, all i wanted was you. i know because when you left, everything fell apart, and i didn’t sleep in my own room for so long, because i only left your room when it stopped smelling like you. i know because i dated landon, because receiving care, even if it was temporary, made everything hurt less.”</p><p>josie swallowed and stepped closer, so close that penelope would swear that josie must be able to hear her heartbeat, and the way that it raced faster with every word josie spoke.</p><p>“i know, penelope, because even now, i look at you, and suddenly i’m sixteen, and all i want to do is kiss you.”</p><p>penelope didn’t know how to respond to that. in truth, she’d thought that she had long since faded from josie’s heart. she’d thought that long ago, the hate had twisted josie’s feelings, and that she would never look at penelope the same.</p><p>“so, why don’t you?” penelope didn’t know what she was doing or saying anymore. this whole conversation made her feel completely unmoored, completely out of control.</p><p>it was usually an unpleasant feeling, but when it came to josie, even this made her heart race.</p><p>“because i…i have ethan,” josie settled on saying, after stuttering for a moment.</p><p>“do you love him?”</p><p>“no.”</p><p>penelope hadn’t expected such a confident answer to that question.</p><p>“then why are you with him?”</p><p>“are you going to tell me that you’ve never been with someone you didn’t love?”</p><p>penelope thought of the nights when the loneliness had felt a little too sharp, the nights when she’d needed someone else to hold her through it.</p><p>“you know i can’t.”</p><p>the two girls ended up staring at each other.</p><p>“i still love you, you know,” penelope didn’t meant to say it, but it was true. josie seemed surprised, and penelope understood. even if the last thing penelope told her was that she loved her, penelope had been gone for a while.</p><p>“then why did you stay away?”</p><p>“because i knew it would be better for the both of us. i didn’t want to cause you anymore pain.”</p><p>josie just nodded slowly.</p><p>“kiss me.”</p><p>penelope didn’t think that she heard josie right.</p><p>“what?”</p><p>josie looked up, making sure that penelope knew that she was talking to her.</p><p>“kiss me.”</p><p>“josie, i thought we just decided that we couldn’t because of ethan.”</p><p>josie stared at penelope, as if trying to figure out a puzzle.</p><p>“do you want to kiss me?”</p><p>penelope almost laughed.</p><p>“of course, i do.”</p><p>“then what’s stopping you? and don’t say ethan because that’s an excuse, for the both of us.”</p><p>“if i tell you my truth, will you tell me yours?”</p><p>josie nodded, and penelope noted that they were moving closer, ever so slightly.</p><p>penelope didn’t even have to think, because the thought had been in her mind ever since josie made eye contact with her.</p><p>“if i kiss you now, i don’t think i’ll be able to stop. and that’s not good for either of us.”</p><p>josie’s eyes flicked down to penelope’s lips, and then back up the meet her gaze.</p><p>“if i kiss you now, i don’t think i’ll be able to let you leave. and i know you need to,” josie said quietly.</p><p>“why?”</p><p>“because i don’t understand yet. and because if you stay now, we’ll just break our hearts all over again. i’ll break you over the merge, and you’ll break me because you’re still lying to me.”</p><p>the words sat heavily in between both of them.</p><p>“what?”</p><p>“tell me why you left.”</p><p>the words were so simple, and josie almost said them with complete calm, but penelope could hear the longing underneath. the way she was begging penelope to tell the truth.</p><p>so, penelope tried to get as close to the truth as possible.</p><p>“i left for you.”</p><p>“where did you go?”</p><p>“i went to belgium, josie you know this.” penelope was almost begging josie to believe her, even though she knew it was of no use.</p><p>“no, you didn’t.”</p><p>“how do you know?”</p><p>josie smiled sadly at penelope, like she had actually hoped for penelope to tell her the truth.</p><p>“because when i asked my dad if i could have the number of the boarding school you went to, and when i called that number, they told me that penelope park had never attended.”</p><p>penelope wanted to ask josie why she’d called, what it was that she’d wanted to tell penelope, but she knew that didn’t matter. </p><p>“i would ask for the truth, but we both know you can’t give it to me. and maybe that's how it has to be. for now.” josie swallowed, pausing as if she needed time to prepare herself for the words she was about to say.</p><p>or maybe she paused so they could exist in each other’s space just a little bit longer.</p><p>“i think you should go,” josie said, voice just above a whisper. penelope nodded.</p><p>she wished that she could tell josie the truth, that she could stay here, with josie, forever, but she couldn’t.</p><p>not yet.</p><p>she didn’t want josie to feel like she owed penelope anything.</p><p>and so penelope would have to be the one to leave.</p><p>again.</p><p>“i love you jojo,” penelope said quietly, and this time josie didn’t admonish her for using the nickname. </p><p>josie didn’t say anything, and so penelope walked away.</p><p>then she heard it, as she was halfway into the trees. a quiet whisper, full of pain and longing for a happy ending that always seemed out of reach.</p><p>“i love you too.”</p><p>the selfish walked away, knowing that this might be their last encounter.</p><p>the selfless was left, wondering what everything would look like if things were different.</p><p>+++</p><p>penelope climbed into the car, not meeting the eyes of the driver.</p><p>“so, you want to tell me where you were?”</p><p>penelope sighed.</p><p>“i was just visiting the school. it’s been a while, and i wanted to see how it had changed.”</p><p>“don’t bullshit me penelope.”</p><p>penelope turned to look at the woman next to her.</p><p>“you were talking to josie.”</p><p>“i was.” there was no point in lying.</p><p>“how’d it go?”</p><p>“she still loves me.”</p><p>“of course she does.”</p><p>“but i can’t stay.”</p><p>“why not?”</p><p>“because i have to do this. once she’s safe, then maybe.” penelope gave the woman next to her a pointed glance. “as her mother, i’d think that you understood that.”</p><p>caroline forbes sighed and rubbed her forehead.</p><p>“you teenagers and your dramatic love.”</p><p>“i’m twenty.”</p><p>“still dramatic.”</p><p>penelope sighed and looked away.</p><p>“come on, we need to get going. hope said that she found a lead, and if it’s something that could possibly stop the merge, then we need to check it out.”</p><p>“i know.” caroline’s eyes didn’t leave penelope.</p><p>“what?”</p><p>“are you okay?”</p><p>there was once again, no point in lying.</p><p>“no. even though she probably doesn’t see herself as such, she’s my homeland. which is why i’m doing this. i have to defend her.”</p><p>“has anyone told you that you should be a poet? because your metaphors are really quite something.”</p><p>penelope laughed, but there was no real humour in it.</p><p>“can we please go? if we stay any longer, i might change my mind.”</p><p>caroline nodded.</p><p>“okay.” she reached out and placed her hand on top of penelope’s. “we’ll get you back to her penelope. i promise.”</p><p>penelope smiled, trying her best to believe those words.</p><p>“thanks, caroline.”</p><p>and then off they drove. away from the salvatore school, and away from josie saltzman.</p><p>the girl they both cared about so much.</p><p>the girl that either of them would die for.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. if i'm on fire (you'll be made of ashes too)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey all! I promised that'd I'd be back in a week, and here I am, with your Posie happy ending, because Legacies is cowards who won't give it to us! This chapter is inspired by the Taylor Swift song my tears ricochet, and that is where I got the title for this chapter! I hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>penelope park had thought a lot about death. after all, when you were up against every supernatural thing, trying to get a cure for an ancient curse, life wasn’t exactly safe.</p>
<p>but this time was different.</p>
<p>because they’d found it.</p>
<p>they’d finally fucking found it. </p>
<p>the cure to the merge was right within their grasp. </p>
<p>it just so happened that in the course of getting it, penelope got hit with some sort of spell. she couldn’t identify exactly what it was, but that may have been due to the severe amounts of blood that she was losing. </p>
<p>she remembered caroline screaming, and trying to stop the blood loss, lifting her wrist to penelope’s mouth, trying to get her to drink the vampire blood so that she could be saved.</p>
<p>penelope wasn’t even sure if she’d drank it, in the end.</p>
<p>she just remembered that the darkness had overwhelmed her, and that for a long while, there had been nothing. no thoughts, no pain, no understanding of anything.<br/>and then there was now.</p>
<p>somehow, she was outside of her body.</p>
<p>this led her to believe that if the was a line between life and death, she was currently balancing upon it like a trapeze artist.</p>
<p>her body lay upon a bed, dressed in a simple white hospital gown that penelope was pretty sure caroline had stolen from a hospital, because this was not a hospital.</p>
<p>it was the mikaelson compound, where they had been staying for the past few nights. the mikaelsons, or what remained of them, had wanted to help out, and so the compound had become a home base where caroline and penelope returned to, after running to dead ends, and chasing wild geese.</p>
<p>her skin was pale, and she knew that if her chest was exposed, it would be covered in scars and bruising. if penelope hadn’t understood why her condition was so severe, one look at herself would have told her.</p>
<p>however, when penelope had come to this strange existence, the most startling part wasn’t even that she was outside of her body. nor how damaged her body was.</p>
<p>it was the girl sitting next to her bedside, clutching at penelope’s hand like penelope’s soul would float away if she let go.</p>
<p>soft brown eyes filled with tears, soft brown hair lying haphazard, like she’d just been pulled out of bed.</p>
<p>josie saltzman.</p>
<p>sitting by penelope’s park’s bedside.</p>
<p>watching her, silent, body shaking.</p>
<p>penelope hadn’t been able to understand what she was seeing.</p>
<p>perhaps this was a dream.</p>
<p>she would definitely dream that josie would be here, holding her, so it wasn’t too far out of the realm of possibility.</p>
<p>it had been six months since penelope had seen her last.</p>
<p>their parting hadn’t been gentle, in fact it had left penelope feeling the ache in her heart even stronger than before.</p>
<p>after that day, she’d decided not to learn anything else about josie’s life. it would only hurt her, and distract her, and she needed to be focused if she was to save josie’s life. </p>
<p>she’d hoped that josie had finally moved on from the ache that penelope had left there, but if penelope was dead to josie, then why would she be by her bedside?</p>
<p>however, this was probably the quietest moment she’d caught josie in for such a long time, so penelope decided not to question it. </p>
<p>instead, she just sat down in the chair next to josie, and watched her. </p>
<p>if she was to topple off of this line separating her from death at any moment, she wanted her last sight to be the girl she’d died for. </p>
<p>penelope didn’t know exactly why she started speaking. it wasn’t like josie could hear her. but maybe it was this quiet, and the knowledge that she would go unheard that prompted the words to fall from her lips.</p>
<p>“i love you josie. i swear i love you. i know i did a lot wrong and that i hurt us both so much, but i’d do it all again in a heartbeat if it meant that i got to find the cure.” she sighed. “i wonder if you’ve taken it yet. do you know? do you know everything?” </p>
<p>penelope stood again, feeling agitated, nervous energy starting to race through her as she spoke.</p>
<p>josie remained unmoving, still staring at penelope’s body, as if that alone could bring her back.</p>
<p>“i’m sorry for not telling you, but we both know i couldn’t. because you’d want me to stay, and you’d tell me that i shouldn’t be risking myself for you, and even though you wouldn’t be aware of it, you’d slowly start forgiving me. or more, you’d feel like you owed me something.” penelope ran a hand through her hair, wondering if this was the first time she’d ever said this.</p>
<p>“but i didn’t do this so you’d forgive me. i didn’t do this so you’d feel indebted to me. if you went on hating me for the rest of your life, if you never wanted to see my face again, that would be okay, as long as i could do this for you.” penelope chuckled wryly. “i guess that makes me selfless. or at least, that’s what your mum says when i give her the abridged version.” penelope swallowed, finding that even more words seemed to be stuck to the back of her throat, begging to be spoken.</p>
<p>and so, she spoke them.</p>
<p>“but even then i’m still selfish. because josie, if there was a way to be able to be with you again, i’d want to take it. i want to be with you again so badly. i miss you so much.” penelope laughed. “you know, i haven’t slept well since the last time you shared my bed? when was that? the night of your birthday? i remember you came to my room after what happened with your mother. you didn’t want to talk, you just wanted me, and even though i knew it probably wasn’t healthy, i gave you that.” she sighed, remembering that night, remembering how josie’s tears had fallen onto penelope’s lips as they’d kissed.</p>
<p>“when i woke up you were gone, and then it took a magic slug for you to even look at me.”</p>
<p>penelope sat back down again, now wishing more than anything that she could say all this and have josie hear her.</p>
<p>“you know, that was when i decided that i was going to leave? because i realised that even if spent every night helping you, you still wouldn’t be finding yourself, you still wouldn’t be fighting for yourself. that’s why i left. because i knew i couldn’t help you if i stayed, but if i left then maybe, just maybe, there was a chance that i could do some real good for you.” penelope chuckled sadly, thinking about all that hope had told her about josie’s life while penelope was gone.</p>
<p>“the last time we saw each other, you asked me if i was disappointed in you, and i told the truth when i told you that i wasn’t. but it does hurt that even after all this time, you still don’t see the full image of your magnificence. you exorcized a demon from your sister, you gave back everyone their memories of hope, you got infected by dark magic and you fought back, by yourself, and you brought yourself back. and even when the whole school turned against you, you stayed, and you persevered, and from what i’ve heard, you’ve been everything i knew you could be.”</p>
<p>penelope smiled, and stopped talking, due to fact that she had started crying. she wiped away her own tears, and then just turned to watch josie. she’d gotten out everything she needed to say now. the rest she could say when she was back in her body, when josie could hear her.</p>
<p>she didn’t know how long it was before josie spoke, but when she did, penelope’s heart leapt.</p>
<p>“mum said that you might be able to hear me. she said that you’re going to be okay, that you just need time, and rest, and then you’ll come back but penelope,” josie took a deep shuddering breath, “you have no idea how much you scared me.”</p>
<p>penelope waited, wanting desperately to know what josie had to say.</p>
<p>“i understand now. why you left. i guess you really did do it for me.” josie chuckled sadly. “at first i was so mad, i couldn’t believe it. i just couldn’t keep thinking how typical of you this was. to do some big thing for me, and to not tell me at all until it had happened. and i was pissed, because you nearly got yourself killed, and all i could think about was the fact that if you had died doing this, i never would’ve got to kiss you again.”</p>
<p>penelope breath caught in her throat.</p>
<p>“if you really can hear me, i know you’re never going to let this go, but i just couldn’t stop thinking about it. on the car ride here, i was just mad and sad and scared and so many other things i could barely name. when lizzie got here, you know what she said?” josie laughed to herself. “she said, ‘dammit, now i have to apologise to her for being a bitch in high school.’”</p>
<p>penelope laughed. that definitely sounded like lizzie, even if she was definitely not the only one who needed to apologise about high school behaviours. penelope had a lot she needed to be sorry for in the way she had treated lizzie.</p>
<p>“everyone has come to see you. lizzie, mum, hope, even dad came in at one point.” josie sighed. “but i’m the only one who hasn’t left. because i couldn’t, because what if you die or wake up, and i’m not here? because i need to be here. even if i’m still mad at you for not telling me about you hunting for the cure, even if i’m still mad that you left me, i still need you penelope.”</p>
<p>penelope was glad that she couldn’t respond, because she really didn’t know what she’d say if she could.</p>
<p>“i still talk to you at home. i’ll go down to the pier, and i’ll just scream up at the sky. sometimes i’ll tell you about my day, sometimes i’ll complain about the new students, and sometimes i just curse your name, or wish that you stayed.” josie shook her head. “i get why you had to leave, but i really wish that you’d left something behind that i could hold onto when i needed it. because i missed you so much some days that i could barely walk down the school hallways without crying.” </p>
<p>josie shook her head, eyes shining with tears that sparkled like priceless jewels.</p>
<p>“even before you left i missed you. even when we fought every time that we talked, even when i’d be aiming to break your heart like you broke mine, even when i’d be going for blood, i would still miss you in my bones.” </p>
<p>josie took a shaky breath.</p>
<p>“i think i’ll love you until my dying day penelope park. i hope you know that.”</p>
<p>penelope couldn’t help herself, and she reached out to lay her hand on josie’s shoulder. she could touch it, but she couldn’t feel the softness of the fabric, or the warmth of josie’s skin below.</p>
<p>and then josie turned her head to look right at penelope. </p>
<p>not the penelope on the bed.</p>
<p>the penelope who had just touched her shoulder.</p>
<p>“hello?” josie’s voice cracked, and penelope could hear the exhaustion and sadness in it.</p>
<p>“jojo?” penelope didn’t think josie could hear her, unless she had gotten very good at pretending not to notice penelope speaking, but it seemed like she could feel her.</p>
<p>penelope reached out, and ran her ghostly fingers across josie’s cheek.</p>
<p>josie gasped.</p>
<p>“who is that?”</p>
<p>penelope took josie’s hand and tugged gently. josie didn’t move much, but she seemed to notice that someone was pulling her.</p>
<p>penelope placed josie hand back onto penelope’s and then tapped the back of it twice, the way she always used to get josie’s attention if she was lost in her study.</p>
<p>“penelope?” josie didn’t sound like she believed what she was saying, but penelope tapped her hand again.</p>
<p>“how are you doing this? you’re not dead, so...” she trailed off, and then looked back at penelope’s body.</p>
<p>“can you come back? or at least try?” </p>
<p>penelope frowned. if she knew how to do that, she would’ve by now.</p>
<p>“don’t give me that look, it was just an idea,” josie grumbled. penelope laughed at the fact that josie had instinctively known exactly what face penelope was making.</p>
<p>“wait, does that mean you heard all of that?” </p>
<p>penelope tapped josie’s hand twice, and josie groaned, lifting her hands up to her face. </p>
<p>“i mean, i knew there was a chance that you could hear me, but i kind of forgot about that.” she laughed. “well, i’m not got to say anymore until you come back.” she made a zipping motion over her lips and sat down.</p>
<p>well, that was a motivation to try and figure out how to get back.</p>
<p>penelope approached her still body, and then slowly, crawled into the space where she lay. she found that she couldn’t actually make contact with her own body, and simply just laid on the bed.</p>
<p>she closed her eyes, and tried to think. </p>
<p>caroline had once told her that if she ever found herself on the verge of death, to hold onto whatever it was that made her want to live.</p>
<p>so, penelope thought of josie, and thought of getting the chance to actually hold her hand again. to speak to her, and maybe fix what was between them, now that the merge was gone.</p>
<p>she felt a tightness in her chest, a burning feeling across all of her skin, and her eardrums popped.</p>
<p>there was silence, and darkness.</p>
<p>and then penelope could feel again.</p>
<p>her eyelids felt like they had been glued together, so instead of trying to open them, penelope wiggled one of her fingers.</p>
<p>she found that josie’s hand was still holding her, and a smile pushed its way onto her face.</p>
<p>josie’s sharp intake of breath seemed to echo throughout the room.</p>
<p>“penelope?”</p>
<p>penelope opened her mouth to speak, but could only croak out a responding,</p>
<p>“jojo?”</p>
<p>+++</p>
<p>the next few hours were a rush that penelope could barely take in. all the mikaelsons, along with caroline and lizzie, rushed into the room, checking to see that she was okay, and telling her that she’d been unconscious for three whole days, and that they’d been starting to get scared about her.</p>
<p>caroline hugged her tightly and told her firmly not to do anything that stupid ever again. penelope just smiled weakly.</p>
<p>when most of the crowd had left the room, only lizzie and josie lingered. </p>
<p>lizzie looked at josie, and then at penelope.</p>
<p>“so, you saved our lives?”</p>
<p>penelope grinned.</p>
<p>“don’t worry, lizzie, i promise i won’t hold it against you.”</p>
<p>lizzie rolled her eyes.</p>
<p>“you really haven’t changed, have you?”</p>
<p>“i’ve changed enough to know that i owe you an apology for being a bitch to you back in school.”</p>
<p>lizzie’s shock showed clearly on her face, but josie hid her smile.</p>
<p>“even if i didn’t like you, and i thought that you treated josie badly, your mental health wasn’t something i should’ve targeted. it wasn’t something you could control and i shouldn’t have used it against you.” </p>
<p>lizzie’s face slowly shifted into something resembling acceptance.</p>
<p>“thank you penelope.” there was not a trace of deceit in her voice. penelope nodded, and lizzie gave her a nod in return. her eyes turned to josie for a moment, and then she left the room.</p>
<p>josie looked over at penelope and smiled.</p>
<p>“can we talk? but like, once you’re fully recovered?”</p>
<p>penelope nodded.</p>
<p>“of course.”</p>
<p>which led her to now, two days later. penelope was out of bed, and back to walking around. </p>
<p>her chest still ached, where a huge scar had opened up when she’d been hit with the spell. </p>
<p>according to the doctor that the mikaelsons had hired, she’d probably have that scar for the rest of her life, and it would probably ache from time to time.</p>
<p>the next morning, they were going to be using the cure so that the twins wouldn’t have to merge. penelope couldn’t sleep, her mind was too busy racing with all the possibilities of how this could go horribly wrong.</p>
<p>and so, she sat at the foot of her bed, fiddling with a ring she’d bought in germany. she’d wanted something to fidget with when she got nervous, as all the chasing was starting to fill her with a monstrous amount of nervous energy. and so, she’d found a pretty silver ring, with the words, ‘i love you’ inscribed into the inside.</p>
<p>just so she also always had a reminder of why she was doing this.</p>
<p>as she sat there, fiddling, and thinking, a knock came at her door.</p>
<p>penelope recognised it immediately, it was the same knock she used to wait for when she used to go to the salvatore school, the knock she’d slowly taught herself not to expect anymore, because the girl on the other side of the door didn’t want to see her anymore.</p>
<p>but there she was now.</p>
<p>josie saltzman, still beautiful, even when bags lay under her eyes.</p>
<p>“can’t sleep?” penelope didn’t bother waiting for an answer before she let josie into her room. josie walked right in, and then answered.</p>
<p>“i’m too scared thinking about everything that could go wrong tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“i know how you feel.” penelope shut the door and walked over to sit back down on her bed. she patted the spot next to her, and josie looked at her dubiously.</p>
<p>“come on jojo, you know i don’t bite unless you want me to.” penelope threw josie one of her grins, hoping that the flirty joke would ease josie’s nerves, rather than make her uncomfortable.</p>
<p>considering the way josie immediately dropped onto the bed next at her, laughing quietly, penelope would say that it worked. </p>
<p>they sat in comfortable silence for a while, and then when penelope felt the room start to fill with all their unsaid words, she spoke.</p>
<p>“so, i heard everything you said to me.”</p>
<p>josie turned to look at penelope.</p>
<p>“when i was in the coma. that is, if that’s the only time you talked.”</p>
<p>josie nodded. “i couldn’t bear to say a word before then. i just couldn’t figure out how to string a sentence together that would explain what i was feeling and then it sort of all just…fell out.” </p>
<p>penelope could see that josie’s cheeks were tinted lightly pink, and she wondered what it was that josie was so embarrassed about having said. </p>
<p>“you know, you’re allowed to be mad at me,” penelope told josie. </p>
<p>“i know. and i am. because,” she paused and shook her head, “penelope, why didn’t you just tell me?”</p>
<p>“about the real reason why i was leaving?”</p>
<p>josie nodded. penelope felt a lightness in her heart when she realised that she was finally about to tell the full truth.</p>
<p>“i didn’t want you to be worried, and i didn’t want you to try and stop me, of course. but the main thing was that i didn’t want you to feel like you owed me anything.”</p>
<p>josie laughed. “you literally almost died to save my life. i think i owe you a little.” she frowned. “but you had to know that i would find out eventually.”</p>
<p>penelope shook her head. “my plan was to disappear once we found it. it took a lot of work, but i’d convinced your mum that it would be better for you if you didn’t know.”</p>
<p>josie looked away from penelope for a moment, and then she gave her a light shove.</p>
<p>“what was that for?”</p>
<p>“you are so dumb, i seriously can’t believe you.”</p>
<p>penelope just sighed. she’d known that josie was going to get angry about it. after all, this was kind of the point of not telling her.</p>
<p>“what are you annoyed about exactly?”</p>
<p>“why are you so dedicated to making me hate you? if you actually love me, why do you keep doing things to prevent me from loving you back?”</p>
<p>well, penelope hadn’t expected that question. although, it made sense for josie to say something unexpected. she’d been the only one able to surprise penelope in a very long time.</p>
<p>“maybe i don’t think i deserve your love.” penelope meant it as a vague and annoying answer, but she realised that it was actually quite true. she wanted josie to hate her, because she felt that she’d hurt josie too much to deserve her love.</p>
<p>“because you’re selfish?”</p>
<p>“what?”</p>
<p>“you think because you’re selfish you don’t deserve my love?” now it seemed that josie was the confused one.</p>
<p>“i think i don’t deserve your love because i hurt you. because i left.”</p>
<p>josie paused, seeming to take that into consideration. penelope sighed.</p>
<p>“i’m sorry for leaving the way i did. i guess i just didn’t have it in me to go with grace, and so i made it a whole thing.”</p>
<p>josie shook her head slowly.</p>
<p>“i’m glad you did. i needed to know about the merge.”</p>
<p>“and what about the other thing i said?”</p>
<p>josie exhaled quietly, and penelope waited, bones aching from being separated from their love for so long.</p>
<p>“i’m glad you told me. because it made me realise that i couldn’t make you a villain and blame you for everything. it made me remember the good things. like how when i’d fight, and stand up for myself, you’d tell me i was brave.”</p>
<p>penelope smiled. “and you are.”</p>
<p>josie looked at her like she still didn’t quite believe that.</p>
<p>penelope remembered everything she’d said while josie waited at her bedside, and she remembered that josie hadn’t heard any of it.</p>
<p>“you know, i told you some stuff when i knew you couldn’t hear me. back when i was in that weird in between space.”</p>
<p>“really? and what would that be?”</p>
<p>penelope smiled and started to tell her everything. how much she’d missed josie, the night she’d decided to leave, how she’d heard about everything josie had gone through, and how proud she was.</p>
<p>“i wanted to come back so many times, just to make sure that you were okay, but i kept telling myself that i’d probably just fuck you up worse.”</p>
<p>josie nodded. penelope’s heart sank to think that josie did think that penelope would have made things worse.</p>
<p>“i think i wasn’t old enough to deal with everything, and i think there was a lot i needed to learn.”</p>
<p>“what about now?”</p>
<p>“i think that i’m starting to understand that maybe i’m not the only selfless one between the two of us.” josie fingers rose, and they came to rest against penelope’s cheek.<br/>“and i don’t care if you want me to punish you, or to turn you away. i did that already. we’ve fought and we’ve hurt each other so much, and i don’t know about you but i’m tired of it. as of tomorrow, i get to live as long as i want, and i don’t have to live it as a murderer.”</p>
<p>penelope smiled, leaning into josie’s hand, basking in its warmth and the safety her touch brought penelope’s heart. </p>
<p>“you know, these past few years have been hell for me,” penelope said quietly.</p>
<p>“so, it wasn’t all picnics in paris and waffles in belgium?”</p>
<p>penelope laughed. “not quite. but the worst part wasn’t the monsters or the constant fighting.” she made sure that josie was listening to her words, that she was hearing exactly what penelope needed her to hear. “the worst part was that i could go anywhere i wanted,” she sighed, “anywhere i wanted, just not home.”</p>
<p>“home?”</p>
<p>“my home has always been you josie.”</p>
<p>josie chuckled. “even when i was awful to you?”</p>
<p>penelope smiled. “even then. although, i do have to ask. even on my worst day, did i really deserve all the hell you gave me?”</p>
<p>josie’s smile slipped into the territory of sadness, and penelope felt a stab of guilt for bringing up more painful times.</p>
<p>“you’re definitely not selfish. or obnoxious.”</p>
<p>“and not evil?”</p>
<p>josie leaned closer, and penelope thought that she might be able to map out every feature of her eyes, even in the dim lighting.</p>
<p>“certainly not evil.”</p>
<p>josie leant in, and penelope could tell that they were about to kiss, but she stopped her at the last second.</p>
<p>josie frowned. “what?”</p>
<p>“as much as i really want to kiss you right now, and believe me, i really do, i just need to make sure that you’re not still with ethan.”</p>
<p>josie frown faded into a soft smile, as if she was almost proud of penelope for using basic decency.</p>
<p>“i broke up with him two days after i saw you again. because i realised that i couldn’t force myself to be okay. i had to wait and take time and it would happen eventually.” </p>
<p>penelope nodded, proud of josie for making a choice that would result in her happiness. </p>
<p>“are you okay now?”</p>
<p>josie shook her head. “not yet. i still have a lot to work on.” her gaze met penelope’s again. “and i don’t want to assume anything but i’d really like it if you could be there while i’m working it out.”</p>
<p>penelope smiled. “if you’re sure, i’ll stay. i just need one reason, and i’ll stay.”</p>
<p>“i’m sure.”</p>
<p>“then i’ll be here. for as long as you want me there.”</p>
<p>the hand that wasn’t resting on penelope’s cheek drifted to penelope’s free hand, and entwined their fingers. </p>
<p>“can i kiss you now?”</p>
<p>“please.”</p>
<p>josie finally leant in all the way, and penelope finally let her.</p>
<p>when their lips touched, penelope felt a sense of contentment that she hadn’t felt in so long.</p>
<p>home.</p>
<p>penelope lifted her own free hand to cradle josie’s face, to move them closer. because she needed to be closer, needed them to be so close that she could convince her heart that they’d never fall apart again.</p>
<p>she didn’t know how long they sat there, just kissing and taking each other in, two people who had been right for each other all along, but just hadn’t quite got the timing right.<br/>two people who had learnt and grown in the time when they’d been apart. </p>
<p>and now the time was right, and they were alright, and things were going to be good.</p>
<p>they pulled apart, and penelope took the time to examine every part of josie’s smile. she’d never forgotten it, but the memory had faded, so penelope was going to do everything she could to make sure she could remember it in extreme detail.</p>
<p>josie opened her mouth, probably to say something, but she was overtaken by a yawn. penelope laughed.</p>
<p>“come on, we should get some sleep. it’s a big day for us tomorrow.” penelope pulled herself back, and began to tuck herself under the covers. </p>
<p>josie’s eyes flicked nervously between penelope and the door, looking almost adorably nervous.</p>
<p>“josie.”</p>
<p>josie’s eyes landed firmly on penelope.</p>
<p>“you know you can go back to your room if you want to.”</p>
<p>josie chewed on her lip, but her eyes didn’t move again.</p>
<p>“but what if i want to stay?”</p>
<p>“well then, i think i would be the last person to turn you away.” she patted the spot in the bed next to her. “i promise to keep my hands to myself.”</p>
<p>josie moved over and slid herself under the covers, settling in barely an inch away from penelope.</p>
<p>“and what if i want you to touch me?”</p>
<p>“very bold miss saltzman. but not when we’re in a house full of vampires, including your mother.” penelope grinned as josie’s cheeks bloomed red and she shoved against penelope’s chest, which really did nothing but bring them closer.</p>
<p>“i didn’t mean like that.”</p>
<p>“i know, but i just love messing with you.”</p>
<p>josie glared at her, but her eyes with too full of love to make any impression. penelope felt josie’s hands moving closer, and before she knew it, josie’s fingers were running across penelope’s chest. </p>
<p>penelope tried her best not to wince when josie touched her scar, but josie must’ve seen her reaction anyways, because her hand stilled.</p>
<p>“is that…” she trailed off.</p>
<p>penelope nodded.</p>
<p>“how bad is it?”</p>
<p>“it’s still tender, but it’ll get better. right now, it looks really ugly, so it’s probably for the best that we can’t do any activities that require you seeing me shirtless.” penelope tried to deflect with a joke, but josie just kept looking at her with soft concern.</p>
<p>“thank you for everything you did. i hope i can be worth it.”</p>
<p>“you’ve always been worth it for me.”</p>
<p>penelope reached out, and pulled josie’s hand away from her scar. josie sighed, and penelope got the feeling that her time searching for the cure would be a topic of conversation one night.</p>
<p>but not tonight.</p>
<p>josie nestled into penelope’s body, her head resting against penelope’s collarbone, her hands draped around her neck.</p>
<p>penelope moved with her, wrapping her own arms around josie, letting one of her hands lie in josie’s hair so as to play with it. josie had once told her that she found it soothing when penelope played with her hair, and judging by the contented exhale that she let out, she still did. </p>
<p>“is this good?” penelope was partially asking about josie’s comfort, but she was also asking about them. were they good? was penelope good for josie? could she be good enough?<br/>penelope hoped that she could be. all she’d ever wanted was josie, safe, happy, and in her arms, and it would kill her to lose this second chance.</p>
<p>“it’s good,” josie answered softly. she laid a gentle kiss upon penelope’s bare skin, just where her shoulder curved into her neck, and penelope’s heart fluttered.</p>
<p>josie lifted her head, just enough to meet penelope’s eyes, and whispered,</p>
<p>“i love you.”</p>
<p>penelope smiled, and laid an even softer kiss upon josie’s forehead. </p>
<p>and then, voice barely loud enough to be heard, penelope whispered back. a secret for the two of them, an echo of two girls, standing in a hallway.</p>
<p>once, josie had bitten three words at penelope, as if she wanted them to hurt, and penelope had answered her with a soft smile, and gentle words. </p>
<p>now, josie said the words as if she wanted them to heal every one of the wounds that lay between them, and penelope answered with that same soft smile, and the same gentle words.</p>
<p>“i know.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well, to everyone, thanks for reading! I know this is way shorter than what I usually write, but I feel like I'm quite happy with it that way. This fic idea has been living in my brain for about six months, so I'm very happy to finally share it with all of you! I have a few other ideas swimming around in my head for Posie, but there's nothing solid at the moment, so it might be a little bit before I post something for this fandom again! If you see me writing for any other fandoms, please drop in and say hi! As for this fic, if you liked it, please leave a kudos and/or a comment! Once again, thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Okay I promise you guys, there is going to be a happy ending to this, I swear! Please let me know your thoughts in the comments, and leave a kudos if you liked! The next chapter will be coming out in a weeks time, so I'll see you all then!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>